Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
