Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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