Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
