he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
