the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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