Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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