Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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