okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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