Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
