We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
