i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
