you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
there is glitter all over my balls
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