Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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