since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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