I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
