No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
