just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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