I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
