omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize