In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
