she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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