Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
