i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
