Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's