Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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