Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?