no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.