i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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