yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
