I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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