The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize