I am puke
it hurts more in the daytime
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
