So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
