i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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