i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
