I think I died a long time ago.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
