ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
