First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
