if you like me you must not know who I am
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
