im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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