I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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