so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
