Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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