for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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