I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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