I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
