I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
