I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
