Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
