Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
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Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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