I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
