Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
