So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
