you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
