Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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