Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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