I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
