Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
