hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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