I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
