YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
