i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her vagine was all disorganized.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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