Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green