Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

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  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (7926) Bad night (1118)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.

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  (919): okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth. http://tfl.nu/6w2r
  Replies (26) Good night (1701) Bad night (7696)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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  (937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0
  Replies (17) Good night (1438) Bad night (5825)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

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  (727): they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were http://tfl.nu/gg4c
  Replies (5) Good night (2547) Bad night (826)
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  (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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  (646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (1641)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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  (513): hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team http://tfl.nu/e17f
  Replies (8) Good night (3200) Bad night (669)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

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  (443): Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk http://tfl.nu/uult
  Replies (1) Good night (1247) Bad night (579)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.

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  (301): I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO. (301): Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever. http://tfl.nu/txh9
  Replies (11) Good night (2040) Bad night (578)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (500)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.

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  (727): No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/v8lz
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (472)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Which is way cooler

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  (571): I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse. (703): Which is way cooler http://tfl.nu/my7h
  Replies (7) Good night (508) Bad night (578)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

  (1+44): View more from

  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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  (+44): This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you (1+44): Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause http://tfl.nu/oxqa
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (300)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity

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  (416): I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity http://tfl.nu/q8vj
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (396)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.

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  (402): He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team. (575): Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring. http://tfl.nu/j6bp
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom

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  (203): Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom http://tfl.nu/ba36
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (194)

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