she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno