So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.