I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.