You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?