He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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