waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize