burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Come see our sink grown plant.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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