I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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