dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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