You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
