I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
